1 00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:12,429 [♪ "Smoke Rings" playing] 2 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:29,571 ♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪ 3 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:35,368 ♪ Puff your cares away ♪ 4 00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:43,126 ♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪ 5 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:49,049 ♪ Night and day ♪ 6 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:57,307 ♪ Blow, blow them through the air ♪ 7 00:00:57,390 --> 00:01:03,313 ♪ Silky little rings ♪ 8 00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:07,358 ♪ Those little smoke rings I love ♪ 9 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:08,693 -[elevator dings] -[song ends] 10 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:09,778 [water running] 11 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:10,904 [elevator door opens] 12 00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:12,739 Hi. 13 00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:14,991 Hey. 14 00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,410 How was… How was the thing? 15 00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,082 Well, you know. 16 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,337 [smacks lips] It was a journalist's book party in Midtown. 17 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:29,547 How do you think it was? 18 00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:34,010 -Utterly fine? [chuckles] -[John chuckles] Violently fine. 19 00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:37,347 Anthony dropped by for a bit. 20 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:38,723 Yeah? How'd he look? 21 00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:40,433 [John sighs] Frail. 22 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,144 Wonder why he bothered showing up. 23 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,395 Life is for the living. 24 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,314 [Carolyn chuckles] Does that constitute living? 25 00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:48,191 [scoffs] A journalist book party in Midtown? 26 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:49,400 I had fun. 27 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,486 [♪ "No Ordinary Love" playing] 28 00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:54,531 -Did you? -[John] Yeah. 29 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,534 Although I did get trapped for about 20 minutes 30 00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,452 by that artist lady who wears those hats. 31 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,121 [stutters] Lizzie is a publicist. 32 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:04,207 The reason you think she's an artist is because she's a good publicist. 33 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,084 Um. 34 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,508 [chuckles] Wha-What are you doing? 35 00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,135 What does it look like I'm doing? 36 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,554 [Carolyn giggles] 37 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,139 I love this song. 38 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:26,813 ♪ This is no ordinary love ♪ 39 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,439 You know what else I love? 40 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:29,566 Mmm? 41 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,110 I love you. 42 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:38,408 I love you too. 43 00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:46,332 Tonight would have been so much more fun if you were there. 44 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,668 Everything's more fun when I'm there. 45 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:54,048 -That's usually true. -[giggles] 46 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,677 [John] You know, I think this is the first song we ever danced to. 47 00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:00,680 God, we barely knew each other then. 48 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,433 -I knew you. I knew who you were. -Mmm? 49 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,934 -Yeah? [chuckles] -You were fearless. 50 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,352 No, I was terrified. 51 00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:10,231 ♪ A love like that won't last? ♪ 52 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:13,151 The way you used to walk into a room and just own it. 53 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,364 Used to? 54 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,408 No, you-you know what I mean. 55 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,370 Baby, I missed you tonight. 56 00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:28,708 Everyone was asking where you were. 57 00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:32,921 It's hard to keep track of all the excuses at this point. 58 00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:37,342 ♪ This is no ordinary love ♪ 59 00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:40,803 ♪ No ordinary love ♪ 60 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,267 You're hungry. I don't want the food to get cold. 61 00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:58,613 [music stops] 62 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,246 I'm sorry. 63 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,331 I wasn't trying to guilt-trip you. 64 00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:11,459 Just missed you. 65 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:15,421 I mean it was a completely mediocre book party in Midtown. I… 66 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,383 Really doesn't sound like I missed much, right? 67 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:19,467 [John sighs] 68 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:23,721 [Carolyn clears throat] 69 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,474 If you were so desperate to see me, you would have just skipped it to see me. 70 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:29,269 And the fact that it didn't even occur to you as an option makes me feel like 71 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,729 this isn't just about us spending time together, but about… 72 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,858 people seeing us spend time together. 73 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,735 Just… [sighs] 74 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,821 I hate showing up to these things alone. 75 00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,490 Because of what people will say? 76 00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:44,367 No. No. 77 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,576 [Carolyn] Mmm. 78 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,829 -Well, obviously that's part of it. -Mm-hmm. 79 00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:50,331 [John] You know what happens anytime I show up to these things alone. 80 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:51,416 [sighs] 81 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:54,085 There's another headline stating that we're headed for divorce. 82 00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:57,422 Uh, well, I mean, at this point, they're gonna write a story no matter what. 83 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:58,506 -So… -[John] Exactly. 84 00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:01,259 Damned if we do, damned if we don't. 85 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,637 Right, I just… I feel like we're saying the same thing here. 86 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:08,391 All I'm saying is I'd like to spend time with you outside of this loft. 87 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,399 I have a crazy idea. 88 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,359 -A plate? -Um, let's go on a trip. 89 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:21,821 -What kind of a trip? -[Carolyn] Any kind of trip you want. 90 00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:25,491 Mmm. Paris, Belize, Tahiti. 91 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,909 -Tahiti? -Yeah, Tahiti. 92 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,911 Just you and me at the beach. 93 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,331 No parties, no obligation, no press. 94 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:33,666 No clothes. 95 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,293 -Carolyn. -I'm serious. 96 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,672 Maybe after the holidays. 97 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:42,383 After the holidays? John, it's-it's August. 98 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,678 It's August 30th. That's essentially September. 99 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,431 We have the Delancey Street Foundation dinner 100 00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:49,932 -in San Francisco. -Mm-hmm. 101 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,768 Back to New York for Fashion Week. 102 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,436 Then I have the Cuba trip. 103 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:56,564 After that, we're in the Vineyard, straight to Red Gate. 104 00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:59,692 Then we're back in the city for Terry and Valerie's Halloween party. 105 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,070 November is the George anniversary dinner. 106 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,654 -Mm-hmm. -Thanksgiving at Hyannis. 107 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,156 -[huffs] -Christmas with the cousins. 108 00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:06,657 Your birthday in January. 109 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,869 Figured you'd wanna be with friends, but, yeah, a trip sounds nice. 110 00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:12,246 [chuckles] 111 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:16,959 Okay, so what you're saying is we can't go on vacation until 1998? 112 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,044 [John] Of course not. 113 00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:20,671 We have Hyannis next weekend, remember? 114 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,176 Fuck me, I forgot. 115 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,640 You know, a lot of people consider the Cape to be 116 00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,725 one of the most beautiful areas of the country. 117 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,560 Yeah, I'm aware of that. 118 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,979 I don't have a problem with the Cape. It's the compound. 119 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,064 [John] What about it? 120 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:40,691 Come on. [scoffs] 121 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,026 No, let's hear it. 122 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,737 -Out with it. -[chuckles] 123 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:48,866 Um. It's not relaxing. Every minute of the day is accounted for. 124 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:52,453 We can't sleep in, we can't sit on the beach, we can't go for a walk. 125 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,331 -There's no privacy, so we never have sex. -Hmm. 126 00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:59,836 Oh. There's never enough hot water, which is frankly mind-boggling, 127 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,921 given the marvel that is modern plumbing. 128 00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:05,508 And even in the height of summer, it's always cold, like w-how? 129 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,095 And there are all these insane, unwritten rules. 130 00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:13,182 Like, uh, board games are verboten, but playing cards encouraged. 131 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,726 -What's the difference? -[chuckles] 132 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:19,355 Oh. And yogurt at breakfast is sensible, but yogurt at lunch is, 133 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,898 and I'm quoting your cousin here, 134 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:24,026 -"Some Weight Watchers shit." [scoffs] -"Some Weight Watchers shit." 135 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,655 Oh. And that, um, that rule about no TV during the day. 136 00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,198 Well, that's not a rule. 137 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,993 It's just… Do you wanna watch TV during the day? 138 00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:33,953 I want the option. 139 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:39,459 Spending your day in front of the TV on a beautiful summer's day is just wasteful. 140 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,043 [Carolyn] So it is a rule? 141 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,128 It's a norm. 142 00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:44,714 Oh, there's nothing norm about it, trust me. 143 00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:48,551 Everyone shoots me these judgmental looks whenever I read magazines. 144 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:52,597 And-And before you say that Caroline reads magazines all the time too, 145 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:56,017 let me interrupt your interruption and say that Caroline reads The New Republic, 146 00:07:56,100 --> 00:08:00,354 and while, technically, yes, that's a magazine, spiritually, it's a book. 147 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,649 -Vogue, that's a magazine. -[scoffs] 148 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,776 [Carolyn] And don't think I haven't noticed the expectant looks 149 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,737 on everyone's faces when I abstain from a cocktail. 150 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,531 I am basically guzzling Dark 'n' Stormys prophylactically 151 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,782 at this point. 152 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:14,660 Yeah, I-I have to drink or else people will think I'm pregnant. [scoffs] 153 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,412 You think I'm joking, but I'm serious. 154 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:20,291 I-I just feel like I'm on display, like… like there's this sense of visibility. 155 00:08:20,374 --> 00:08:23,878 Like-like my body is this living, breathing report card 156 00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:26,255 broadcasting the state of our relationship. 157 00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:29,175 -You could always drink a Sea Breeze. -[Carolyn giggles] 158 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,928 -[gasps] And the clams. -The clams? 159 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,095 Over Fourth of July weekend, 160 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,348 your family had five clambakes over three days. 161 00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:36,432 Six actually. 162 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:40,144 We had a midnight clambake, but I let you sleep through that one. 163 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,104 Who wants clams at midnight? 164 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,774 That-That's diabolical. [stammers] That's sadistic. 165 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,609 Okay, okay, I hear you. 166 00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:50,530 -Hyannis can be specific. -No, I believe I said, "Sadistic." 167 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,075 I like spending time with our family. I'm sorry. 168 00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:55,284 John, they're your family. 169 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,536 [John] They're your family too. 170 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,871 -Family is important. -Yeah, you and me, we're a family. 171 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,248 [phone ringing] 172 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,215 Hello. 173 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,093 What? [stutters] 174 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,053 What happened? 175 00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:19,892 Laur-Lauren, slow down, you're scaring me. 176 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,435 -[John] What's going on? -[stutters] 177 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,355 [stutters] Mm-hmm. 178 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:26,899 Okay, what channel? 179 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,693 [stutters] Will you? 180 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,655 Yeah, okay, let me call you back, all right? 181 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:33,864 Love you. Bye. 182 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:34,949 [thuds] 183 00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:38,494 [news anchor] An update now on the condition of Princess Diana, 184 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,581 who was involved in a traffic accident in Paris this evening. 185 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,374 She is in a serious condition. 186 00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:45,626 She was driving with her companion, Dodi Al-Fayed. 187 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,462 He, according to police officials, died in the accident… 188 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,506 -Oh, my God! -[news anchor] …along with a chauffeur. 189 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:54,594 The princess's bodyguard was also injured. We don't know his condition at this hour. 190 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,429 -The accident happened… -Oh, my God. 191 00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:58,264 [news anchor] …as Diana's car was being pursued 192 00:09:58,347 --> 00:10:01,142 by a group of paparazzis on motorcycles as they entered a tunnel 193 00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,019 -along the River Seine. -I just saw her. 194 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,562 -What? -At Gianni's funeral. 195 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,355 I-I sat right behind her. 196 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,483 [news anchor] She has been monitoring Paris for any new information. 197 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,986 -[news anchor] Nina, can you hear me? -[Nina] Yes, I can. 198 00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:15,406 [news anchor] Dodi Al-Fayed, obviously, a very famous man, a millionaire as well. 199 00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:16,782 Do you have any news on his condition? 200 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,869 We have police reports and others saying that he is in fact… 201 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:24,165 [Nina] All we know at the moment is that he has in fact… 202 00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:25,958 …as well as the driver. 203 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,502 Princess Diana apparently has been severely injured 204 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,129 as well as a bodyguard. 205 00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:31,756 [news anchor 2] Do we know the nature of her injury? 206 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,549 -Carolyn. -[Nina] Not at this moment. 207 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,551 -We know that she has been taken… -Carolyn. 208 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:36,636 [Carolyn] Yeah? 209 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,013 The glasses in the dishwasher, are they clean? 210 00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:41,849 [Carolyn] What? 211 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,727 The glasses in the dishwasher, are they clean? 212 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:45,811 I-I don't know. 213 00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,189 [news anchor] There has been no comment from Buckingham Palace… 214 00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,316 [John] You don't know if you ran the dishwasher or not? 215 00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:52,401 -[stutters] What? -[John] I don't get how you don't know. 216 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,695 -You either ran it or you didn't. -Why are you asking me? 217 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:55,863 [John] You've been home all day. 218 00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:57,740 Do you remember hearing the dishwasher run? 219 00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,367 Yes, I did a dish wash. 220 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:00,576 [sighs] 221 00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:03,537 [news anchor 2] The paparazzi, of course, have been trying to photograph 222 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:07,708 Princess Diana with Dodi Al-Fayed, a famous millionaire with whom 223 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,878 she has been in a romantic relationship for the last couple of weeks. 224 00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:13,464 [news anchor] Have they been engendering a fair bit of publicity 225 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:16,008 while they were in Paris? 'Cause most people knew they were there. 226 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:20,846 [Nina] Oh, yes. There has been an extraordinary amount of tabloid and media… 227 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,057 [news anchor] What can you tell us 228 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,975 about the area of Paris where the accident occurred? 229 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,936 I guess it was the entrance ramp of the tunnel. 230 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,689 [Nina] It was an entrance route to the underground tunnel 231 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,607 that goes under the Seine River. 232 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:36,529 This area is well-known by tourists. So it's a very well-populated area. 233 00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:38,155 -[clunks] -[news anchor 2] Let's go back 234 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,532 to the scene of the wreckage. 235 00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:43,619 There's the recognizable back end of the Mercedes sedan, 236 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,414 and there is the unrecognizable front end 237 00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:49,583 of what must have been a high-speed collision. 238 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:52,294 In the front part of the car, the two flashes of white there 239 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:55,881 are the deployed airbags, the remnants of the airbags. 240 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,343 Princess Diana is unmatched when it comes to generating interest 241 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,470 and, indeed, cash for deserving projects… 242 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,472 -I'm going for a run. -[news anchor 2] …taken an interest. 243 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,307 -Her most high-profile involvement… -What? 244 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,476 [news anchor 2] …has been to draw the world's attention 245 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,396 -to the horrors facing civilians… -John. 246 00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:12,231 -I'll be back in a bit. -[Carolyn scoffs] 247 00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:13,524 [♪ "Exit Music" playing] 248 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,028 -[news anchor] Diana was also recently… -[elevator dings, opens] 249 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:22,074 [news anchor] …mostly dominating headlines in the newspaper, 250 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:26,203 especially in Britain, concerning her relationship with Dodi Al-Fayed, 251 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:29,081 which reported that she joined her 40-year-old millionaire companion 252 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,293 and a group of friends for a Mediterranean cruise, 253 00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:35,588 once again, putting her personal life under scrutiny. 254 00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:38,549 Her private holiday was filmed by the Italian paparazzi, 255 00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:41,886 who are now auctioning the photographs to the highest bidder. 256 00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,596 We will continue to cover… 257 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,682 ♪ We escape ♪ 258 00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:56,484 ♪ Breathe ♪ 259 00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,779 ♪ Keep breathing ♪ 260 00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:04,575 ♪ I can't do this ♪ 261 00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:09,330 ♪ Alone ♪ 262 00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:24,887 ♪ You can laugh ♪ 263 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:32,937 ♪ A spineless laugh ♪ 264 00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,524 ♪ We hope your rules ♪ 265 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,609 [news anchor] …it said, and I quote, 266 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,111 "Princess Diana has died." 267 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:48,160 ♪ And wisdom choke you ♪ 268 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:57,086 ♪ Now we are one ♪ 269 00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:05,344 ♪ In everlasting peace ♪ 270 00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:11,892 ♪ We hope that you choke ♪ 271 00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:18,065 ♪ That you choke ♪ 272 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,706 [elevator door closes] 273 00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:36,750 [news anchor 4] …very tragic turn, with confirmation 274 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,252 from Buckingham Palace tonight 275 00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:42,381 that the world has lost Princess Diana at age 36. 276 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:45,676 The official cause of death was listed as cardiac arrest 277 00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:47,720 following massive trauma and head injuries. 278 00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:48,971 -[Carolyn] She's dead. -[sighs] 279 00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:51,557 [news anchor 4] Doctors noted that these injuries were consistent 280 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,559 with a high-speed collision. 281 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,478 [news anchor 5] If you are now tuning in, we have been covering… 282 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,648 -They killed her. -[news anchor 5] …accident of Princess… 283 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,901 [Carolyn] She did everything right, posed for every photo, 284 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,986 gave them everything they wanted, and they just… 285 00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:06,739 [news anchor 5] Her companion, Dodi Al-Fayed, was killed outright… 286 00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:09,450 -…they still killed her. -[news anchor 5] …the Mercedes car. 287 00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:12,077 -Surgeons at a nearby hospital… -It's very sad. 288 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:15,456 -[Carolyn] It's monstrous. -[news anchor 5] …a battle they lost. 289 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:16,540 The British ambassador… 290 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:19,209 She was their princess, and they treated her like prey. 291 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:22,087 [news anchor 5] …which we now know got rather frantic 292 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,256 as they started to lose her pulse. 293 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,550 -[news anchor 5] At the scene, police… -I gotta clean my face off. 294 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:30,512 [news anchor 5] …paparazzi photographers allegedly pursuing the princess's car 295 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,181 in a high-speed chase. 296 00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:33,724 Seven men were arrested. 297 00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:36,769 And the film rolls have all been confiscated. 298 00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:39,271 And the world is slowly learning of this news… 299 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:43,525 You know, I think there's something really macabre about watching this shit 300 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,612 when right now, halfway across the world, someone is waking up her kids 301 00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:48,989 before they find out their parent is dead on TV. 302 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,241 [news anchor 5] He and the First Lady have sent 303 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:53,994 their condolences to Buckingham Palace. 304 00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:59,416 There are reports that the royal family, uh, they are at Balmoral in Scotland… 305 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,171 [Carolyn] I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. 306 00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:07,758 [sighs] 307 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,313 [Carolyn] Those poor boys. 308 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,566 At least they have each other. 309 00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:27,695 Like you and Caroline. 310 00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:30,781 -Like me and Caroline? -[Carolyn] Yeah. 311 00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:34,451 This is nothing like what me and Caroline went through. 312 00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:38,372 They're princes. They're members of a monarchy. 313 00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:41,458 I was three when my dad died. I grew up 60 blocks from here. 314 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:44,420 I rode my bike to school. It's night and day. 315 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:47,631 Okay. 316 00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:54,596 You're telling me it wasn't like that. 317 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:57,933 What was it like? 318 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:02,187 -I don't wanna talk about it. -John. 319 00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:05,649 You're making assumptions and trying to tell me 320 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,026 what my own childhood was like, 321 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,111 and I have everyone else in the world to do that for me 322 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,363 without having to hear it from my own wife. 323 00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:23,083 John. 324 00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:27,504 I'm just trying to understand. 325 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,967 -Does it not scare you? -[sighs] 326 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:42,352 John. 327 00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:45,898 Fine. 328 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:50,819 You wanna know what I'm so scared of? What's going through my head? 329 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,697 What I was thinking about the entire time during my jog? 330 00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,909 That you are never gonna leave the house again. 331 00:17:57,993 --> 00:18:00,079 Do I see the parallels between what we deal with 332 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,538 and what happened to her? 333 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:03,957 Of course I do. But can I say that? 334 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:07,419 No, it'll just be one more thing that's gonna stop you from living your life. 335 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,801 You wanna know why I can't watch this? 336 00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:19,389 Because if I do, I'll never fucking stop, okay? 337 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:29,650 [sighs] 338 00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,782 Do you wanna hear about my childhood? 339 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:40,786 I don't remember my dad dying, at all. 340 00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:46,291 But what I remember vividly is my mom being basically in a trance. 341 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:49,128 And the hours that Caroline and the nanny and I spent 342 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,548 while my mom was locked away in a dark room, crying alone. 343 00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:04,143 And why… Couldn't she just play with me? 344 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:14,027 It was my mother I watched die, not my dad. 345 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,738 I watched her die twice. 346 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:26,373 And now it feels like I'm watching you slip away. 347 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,585 You're choosing the darkness. 348 00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:35,007 I'm watching it happen. I feel like I'm being abandoned again. 349 00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:39,136 I can't lose you. You're the one person I can't lose. 350 00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:40,220 Do you understand that? 351 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:44,057 I've lost so many people in my life, and I can't lose you. 352 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,560 I can't. I can't lose you. 353 00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:51,607 -John. -[John] I can't, I can't. I can't. [sobs] 354 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,193 [Carolyn shushes] 355 00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:58,280 I can't lose you, Carolyn. 356 00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:01,992 -Breathe. -[John sobbing] 357 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:05,162 I'm not going anywhere. 358 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,210 Just breathe. 359 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:35,943 [♪ "Smile" playing] 360 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:39,279 ♪ Now you should smile ♪ 361 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:45,535 ♪ Though your heart is aching ♪ 362 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:52,793 ♪ Smile even though it's breaking ♪ 363 00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:59,174 ♪ When there are clouds ♪ 364 00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:03,053 ♪ Way up in the sky ♪ 365 00:21:04,179 --> 00:21:07,224 ♪ You're gonna get by ♪ 366 00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:11,687 ♪ That's the time ♪ 367 00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:17,067 ♪ You must keep on trying ♪ 368 00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:19,820 ♪ Oh, you gotta smile ♪ 369 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:25,993 ♪ What's the use of crying ♪ 370 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:31,623 ♪ You'll find that life is still ♪ 371 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:38,964 ♪ Worthwhile ♪ 372 00:21:40,507 --> 00:21:42,092 ♪ If you'd just ♪ 373 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:47,472 ♪ Smile ♪ 374 00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:50,267 ♪ Come on ♪ 375 00:21:50,350 --> 00:21:56,356 ♪ Now show me a little smile ♪ 376 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,820 You're gonna hurt yourself. 377 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,992 -You sure you don't want a hand? -[Carolyn] No, I'm good. 378 00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:13,081 God, we went through so much wine. 379 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,166 [John] Uh-huh. 380 00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:19,171 [grunts] 381 00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:27,095 [phone beeps] 382 00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:29,181 [sighs] 383 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:33,769 Hey, Jason. It's John. 384 00:22:34,811 --> 00:22:37,272 My dinner is done. I'm just at home. 385 00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:39,232 Give me a call whenever. 386 00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,820 Why are you calling your flight instructor? 387 00:22:43,904 --> 00:22:46,031 What are you talking about? I talk to him all the time. 388 00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:51,036 I have to log 40 more hours before I'm instrument-rated. [grunts] 389 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:54,414 You just crashed flying that ridiculous lawn mower contraption. 390 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:56,500 I think it's obvious you need a bit more time than that. 391 00:22:56,583 --> 00:23:00,003 It's called a Buckeye, and it's an entirely different machine. 392 00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:02,381 Buckeyes have nothing to do with airplanes. 393 00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:06,760 Didn't you promise Caroline you were done with flying? 394 00:23:06,843 --> 00:23:09,554 Since when are you so concerned with what Caroline wants? 395 00:23:14,684 --> 00:23:15,811 What are you doing? 396 00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:19,439 -I want my cigarettes. -No, just sit. Sit. I'll get them for you. 397 00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:21,942 I don't want you hobbling up the stairs. 398 00:23:22,025 --> 00:23:24,444 [John] They're not up the stairs. They're in my room. 399 00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:35,747 -[door closes] -[cutlery clanking] 400 00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:39,835 [John grunts] 401 00:23:40,877 --> 00:23:43,004 You know, if we left now, we could probably catch the tail end 402 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,006 of that Vanity Fair party at Pravda. 403 00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:49,970 John, you're not supposed to be putting any pressure on that ankle. 404 00:23:50,053 --> 00:23:52,347 No parties, no stairs, no flying lessons. 405 00:23:53,181 --> 00:23:55,809 Well, we'll take a cab. I can sit when I get there. 406 00:23:55,892 --> 00:23:56,893 [Carolyn sighs] 407 00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:00,939 -Ugh. Fuck. -[Carolyn] I'm wiped. 408 00:24:01,022 --> 00:24:04,234 But if you wanna go, you should go. 409 00:24:04,317 --> 00:24:05,986 Wiped? It's not even 11:00. 410 00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,742 Can you please stop with the candle? 411 00:24:13,743 --> 00:24:15,370 Wait, is this a fight right now? 412 00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:19,166 No, I'm fine. 413 00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:21,209 What? What now? 414 00:24:25,255 --> 00:24:28,133 Fine, if you want me to sit here and beg you for it, I will. 415 00:24:28,216 --> 00:24:30,010 Or we can just fast-forward to the part 416 00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:32,304 where you tell me exactly how it is I fucked up. 417 00:24:34,097 --> 00:24:35,098 [John sighs] 418 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:37,851 You told me to go work for Petra. 419 00:24:39,853 --> 00:24:41,730 -When? -Uh, thirty minutes ago, 420 00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:43,440 at this dinner party you insisted on hosting. 421 00:24:45,525 --> 00:24:47,736 Petra was complaining about how difficult it is to find 422 00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:50,697 anyone with work experience willing to build something from the ground up 423 00:24:50,780 --> 00:24:52,908 and accept a pay cut, and you started yelling at me for-- 424 00:24:52,991 --> 00:24:55,327 -I did not yell. -Yeah, John, you were literally yelling. 425 00:24:55,410 --> 00:24:58,079 And I know that because you were seated at the other end of the table. 426 00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:00,290 All I said was that you had fashion experience 427 00:25:00,373 --> 00:25:02,250 -and you didn't need money. -PR. 428 00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:08,548 -I have PR experience. -At Calvin Klein. 429 00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:10,133 Isn't that fashion? That's fashion. 430 00:25:10,217 --> 00:25:13,386 Petra has a jewelry line, John. I'm not a jewelry designer. 431 00:25:13,470 --> 00:25:15,889 Well, I'm sorry for insinuating that you have great taste. 432 00:25:15,972 --> 00:25:18,058 Yeah, that qualifies me to buy jewelry. 433 00:25:18,683 --> 00:25:20,352 -Not make it. -[sighs] 434 00:25:25,815 --> 00:25:29,444 It's humiliating getting pitched for job after job 435 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,154 regardless of my interests or qualifications. 436 00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:33,073 -When have I ever-- -[Carolyn] You do it all the time. 437 00:25:33,156 --> 00:25:34,366 I mean, you practically shoved me 438 00:25:34,449 --> 00:25:36,660 into André Leon Talley's lap at that fundraiser. 439 00:25:36,743 --> 00:25:38,662 -No, I did not. -[Carolyn] John, yes, you did. 440 00:25:38,745 --> 00:25:40,956 You know, it makes me feel like I am this dead weight 441 00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:43,041 that you are desperate to shed. You're just… You're… 442 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,420 You're getting wax all over the table. 443 00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:49,506 I thought you hated this table. 444 00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:01,518 What did you mean I insisted on hosting this dinner party? 445 00:26:01,601 --> 00:26:03,061 It was your idea, wasn't it? 446 00:26:03,144 --> 00:26:05,855 Well, I knew better than to suggest we go to a restaurant, 447 00:26:05,939 --> 00:26:07,774 or anywhere else other than this apartment. 448 00:26:07,857 --> 00:26:09,150 [stammers] Are you seriously that upset 449 00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:11,319 that I organized a dinner party for your friends? 450 00:26:12,529 --> 00:26:14,489 It really bothers me when you do that. 451 00:26:15,657 --> 00:26:16,658 Do what? 452 00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:18,952 Delineate between my friends and your friends. 453 00:26:19,035 --> 00:26:21,955 We're a unit, John. They're our friends. 454 00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:23,832 [sighs] 455 00:26:25,292 --> 00:26:26,710 Okay, Carolyn. 456 00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:31,047 -Pronoun rescinded. -[Carolyn] What are you doing? 457 00:26:31,131 --> 00:26:33,049 Sorry if my grammar offended you. 458 00:26:42,642 --> 00:26:46,730 [Carolyn] Y-You seemed perfectly happy holding court with my friends. 459 00:26:46,813 --> 00:26:49,816 [John] Yeah, well, they were bombarding me with questions. 460 00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,528 Yes. 461 00:26:56,156 --> 00:27:00,744 And to be honest, I think people are uncomfortable asking you 462 00:27:00,827 --> 00:27:02,203 about what's going on in your life 463 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:04,623 'cause they're not sure if you want to talk about it. 464 00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:07,083 [stutters] What do you mean what's going on in my life? 465 00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:10,920 You know, that you're still trying to figure out your thing. 466 00:27:11,546 --> 00:27:13,048 My thing. [scoffs] 467 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:18,595 You know, enough with this relentless pressure to have a thing. 468 00:27:18,678 --> 00:27:20,013 Why do I have to have a thing? 469 00:27:20,597 --> 00:27:23,558 It's all I hear about from your family and your friends 470 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,602 and-and the press, and especially you. 471 00:27:25,685 --> 00:27:27,646 Because it's not enough to just be a Kennedy, no. 472 00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:29,773 No, you have to work at the NRDC or make a documentary 473 00:27:29,856 --> 00:27:31,983 or write a book about constitutional law. 474 00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:36,154 I am 33 years old. I've been working since I'm 15. 475 00:27:36,237 --> 00:27:38,573 Can't my thing just be taking a beat 476 00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:40,659 to settle into my marriage and enjoy my life? 477 00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:44,162 Is that what you're doing all day alone in the apartment, enjoying your life? 478 00:27:46,706 --> 00:27:48,583 I'm figuring it out. 479 00:27:49,292 --> 00:27:51,711 And in the meantime, I don't wanna just join some board 480 00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:55,090 because it would make you feel better when people ask me what I do at dinner parties. 481 00:27:55,173 --> 00:27:57,133 I would think you, of all people, should be able to understand that. 482 00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:58,593 -Me, of all people? -[Carolyn] Yes, John. 483 00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:01,137 You, of all people, should know what this is like. 484 00:28:01,763 --> 00:28:04,391 Instead, you just come at me with all this unhelpful help, 485 00:28:04,474 --> 00:28:06,434 like it's become a full-time job just… 486 00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:10,438 just batting away this constant barrage of indiscriminate suggestions 487 00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:12,691 on how to fill my days, and-and… 488 00:28:13,900 --> 00:28:15,860 and I… I feel guilty. 489 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:20,281 Because I know you think you're trying to be helpful, but it doesn't… 490 00:28:21,908 --> 00:28:23,451 It doesn't feel helpful. 491 00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:26,246 It feels like you're judging me. 492 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,957 So, what am I supposed to do when you complain 493 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,000 about how unmoored your life feels? 494 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,753 Just sit there and say nothing? 495 00:28:33,837 --> 00:28:35,088 Yes. Yes. 496 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,257 Just say nothing. 497 00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:40,218 Just… Just listen. 498 00:28:42,137 --> 00:28:43,138 That's what I need from you. 499 00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:46,391 I just need you to sit and listen and let me feel lost. 500 00:28:46,474 --> 00:28:50,770 Can I… Like, can I just… f-feel lost? 501 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,898 Can you please allow me the space to do that? 502 00:28:55,608 --> 00:28:56,776 Yes. 503 00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:58,862 -[sighs] Okay. -[John] Yes, I can do that. 504 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:07,078 You know, look, I get that it's daunting to start over, but just look at my mom. 505 00:29:07,162 --> 00:29:08,705 Oh, my God. 506 00:29:09,247 --> 00:29:12,333 She was a lifelong reader who became a book editor at the age of 46. 507 00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:14,794 Forty-six. Yes, John, I know. I know. 508 00:29:14,878 --> 00:29:16,880 All I'm saying is that she figured it out 509 00:29:16,963 --> 00:29:20,008 despite public scrutiny or the threat of public scrutiny. 510 00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:23,720 John, it is impossible for me to overstate just how aware I am 511 00:29:23,803 --> 00:29:25,972 that your mother was a very impressive woman. 512 00:29:26,055 --> 00:29:27,557 Believe me, okay? 513 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,394 But do you think your mother could have held a nine-to-five job in publishing 514 00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:33,938 when she was married to the most famous man on the planet? 515 00:29:34,689 --> 00:29:37,609 -She did that when she was a widow. -Enough! Enough about my mother. 516 00:29:37,692 --> 00:29:40,695 -What? John, John, you brought her up. -And now I'm saying to drop it. 517 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,572 -You mention my mother enough. -Your mother's still here 518 00:29:42,655 --> 00:29:43,823 -to defend herself. -Mm-hmm. 519 00:29:43,907 --> 00:29:46,659 You don't know how lucky you are that I never introduced you to my mother 520 00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:48,953 because she never would have encouraged this. 521 00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:50,914 Us. 522 00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:00,173 Wow. 523 00:30:00,757 --> 00:30:02,675 I mean, it's not like I would have listened to her. 524 00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:04,177 No, no. Yeah. Sure. 525 00:30:08,723 --> 00:30:10,475 Maybe I should have listened to mine. 526 00:30:10,558 --> 00:30:11,643 What? 527 00:30:11,726 --> 00:30:13,978 My mother basically told me I should end this. 528 00:30:14,562 --> 00:30:15,605 When? 529 00:30:17,565 --> 00:30:20,527 -At the wedding. -All right. The speech. 530 00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:22,070 No, no, it was earlier. 531 00:30:25,198 --> 00:30:27,283 -That afternoon. -[John] What are you talking about? 532 00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:29,744 Carolyn. 533 00:30:31,621 --> 00:30:33,915 Carolyn, what are you talking about? 534 00:30:35,708 --> 00:30:37,794 -Carolyn. -[Carolyn] My mother came into my room 535 00:30:37,877 --> 00:30:40,922 the day of our rehearsal dinner and warned me not to marry you. 536 00:30:42,382 --> 00:30:44,926 She said that you would never prioritize me, 537 00:30:45,009 --> 00:30:48,346 that you'd always choose your job or your family or yourself, 538 00:30:48,429 --> 00:30:51,140 that you would never make space for me in your life. 539 00:30:53,476 --> 00:30:55,687 And I pushed back on her, I told her she was wrong, 540 00:30:55,770 --> 00:30:59,482 -and now… now I-I don't know that she was. -Carolyn, I do make space for you. 541 00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:02,861 No, John, John, I know you think you do, but you're always out. 542 00:31:04,362 --> 00:31:08,366 You come home at 11:00, at midnight. Last night, you were home at 3:00 a.m. 543 00:31:08,449 --> 00:31:10,285 Yeah, well, we're closing the August issue of George. 544 00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:11,703 You're always… Uh… 545 00:31:14,455 --> 00:31:16,416 You're always closing the magazine. 546 00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:20,336 Or you're out getting drinks to celebrate closing the magazine, 547 00:31:20,420 --> 00:31:23,882 or you're chasing some writer or investor, or you're tearing up the layout, 548 00:31:23,965 --> 00:31:26,384 and if it's not the magazine, it's a Kennedy benefit 549 00:31:26,467 --> 00:31:29,345 or a fundraiser or a Senate run. 550 00:31:29,429 --> 00:31:31,139 So you don't support it. 551 00:31:32,765 --> 00:31:33,766 [sighs] 552 00:31:34,851 --> 00:31:36,644 I support you. 553 00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:41,816 And I'd support it if I really thought it was something you believed in, 554 00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:45,278 but everything for you comes out of this misplaced sense of obligation. 555 00:31:46,195 --> 00:31:47,947 Like your lunch idea. 556 00:31:48,031 --> 00:31:49,949 I specifically set aside two lunches a week, 557 00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:51,743 so that I can spend time with you. 558 00:31:51,826 --> 00:31:54,203 That's not the same as wanting to spend time with me. 559 00:31:54,287 --> 00:31:56,915 -[John] It's literally the same thing. -No, lunch is a checkbox. 560 00:31:58,082 --> 00:32:00,460 It's something you can tell yourself to absolve yourself of guilt. 561 00:32:00,543 --> 00:32:02,670 -What guilt? -You don't want to be around me. 562 00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:06,257 You don't want to talk to me. 563 00:32:06,341 --> 00:32:07,800 Half the time, you're sleeping in the other room. 564 00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:09,135 I talk to you all the time. 565 00:32:09,218 --> 00:32:12,055 No, John, you're not interested in me. 566 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,766 You don't solicit my advice. 567 00:32:14,849 --> 00:32:16,893 You're not fascinated by what I want to say. 568 00:32:16,976 --> 00:32:18,102 You're not curious about me. 569 00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:20,688 You talk to me just long enough to keep the peace, 570 00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:23,107 just long enough to prevent more conversation. 571 00:32:25,109 --> 00:32:28,279 You used to be desperate to spend every single second with me, 572 00:32:28,363 --> 00:32:30,531 and now you treat our marriage like it's this layover 573 00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:32,659 between places that you really want to be. 574 00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:35,995 And I get it. 575 00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:41,584 I imagine it's tough seeing how unhappy you make me. 576 00:32:51,344 --> 00:32:52,637 You know what? 577 00:32:53,179 --> 00:32:54,263 It is. 578 00:33:01,354 --> 00:33:03,940 And that's all I seem to be capable of lately… 579 00:33:05,233 --> 00:33:06,776 is disappointing people. 580 00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:11,572 I spend all day fighting with publishers, investors, bankers, 581 00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:14,951 all telling me to take my magazine out back and shoot it in the head. 582 00:33:15,743 --> 00:33:19,706 And then I come home and I fight with you about how I'm never home. 583 00:33:19,789 --> 00:33:22,083 And then I go to bed each night dreading the moment I get up 584 00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:24,293 and having to do it all over again. 585 00:33:24,377 --> 00:33:27,213 And the worst part about it is that I wanna talk to you about all of this, 586 00:33:27,296 --> 00:33:29,924 but you feel a million miles away. 587 00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:32,010 You're here, but you're not here. 588 00:33:33,344 --> 00:33:37,265 And I miss you, Carolyn. I miss the person I fell in love with. 589 00:33:37,348 --> 00:33:39,225 John, I'm right here. 590 00:33:41,394 --> 00:33:43,646 I am the person you fell in love with. 591 00:33:46,149 --> 00:33:47,775 But you don't want this version of me. 592 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:50,653 You want… You want the cold, unattainable, 593 00:33:50,737 --> 00:33:53,865 shiny version, the-the version of me that's like a trophy. 594 00:33:54,490 --> 00:33:56,784 I mean, the moment I started being vulnerable with you, you-- 595 00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:58,703 You think you're vulnerable with me? 596 00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:04,208 To be vulnerable, you'd actually have to want something and need something. 597 00:34:04,292 --> 00:34:07,670 The only thing you seem to want to do is tell me again and again and again 598 00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:09,047 how much you hate our life. 599 00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:11,340 I knew it. I knew it. I should never have let my guard down. 600 00:34:11,424 --> 00:34:14,052 [stutters] I broke my own rule. I'm so dumb. 601 00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:18,097 -I've just been bracing myself. -For what? 602 00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:19,640 [Carolyn] I'm always bracing myself, John. 603 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:22,769 I have spent my entire life just bracing myself 604 00:34:22,852 --> 00:34:25,813 for these terrible things to happen to me and deal with them alone. 605 00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:27,857 And this is no different from any of that. 606 00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:30,651 You knew who I was before you married me. 607 00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:33,905 [Carolyn] God, I wish people would stop telling me that. 608 00:34:34,822 --> 00:34:36,491 No one knows who they're marrying. 609 00:34:37,658 --> 00:34:39,035 Apparently not. 610 00:34:44,540 --> 00:34:46,626 People are supposed to change, John. 611 00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:49,378 -I didn't. -[scoffs] 612 00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:53,758 You say that like it's a virtue, like it's… like it's somehow commendable. 613 00:34:55,551 --> 00:34:57,303 You haven't made any space for me in your life. 614 00:34:57,386 --> 00:34:59,764 Tell me one thing that you have changed in your life 615 00:34:59,847 --> 00:35:01,474 since we've been married. 616 00:35:01,557 --> 00:35:03,935 You live in the same loft, you have the same job, the same friends, 617 00:35:04,018 --> 00:35:06,437 you spend the same weekends at Red Gate or Hyannis, 618 00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:08,231 the same schedule. 619 00:35:09,899 --> 00:35:13,402 Everything in my life has changed. Do you understand that? 620 00:35:13,486 --> 00:35:15,279 That's your choice. 621 00:35:16,155 --> 00:35:17,907 You act like every misfortune in your life 622 00:35:17,990 --> 00:35:20,118 is the result of some ultimatum I've given you, 623 00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:23,162 like you have zero agency in this relationship. 624 00:35:23,246 --> 00:35:26,415 I didn't make you quit your job. I didn't make you marry me. 625 00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:29,961 I didn't tell you to let the tabloids ruin your life. But you know what? 626 00:35:30,044 --> 00:35:32,338 I think there's a part of you that enjoys this shit with the press. 627 00:35:32,421 --> 00:35:35,091 -Excuse me? -[John] Yeah, so you can lord it over me. 628 00:35:35,174 --> 00:35:37,426 Punish me with it, fault me endlessly 629 00:35:37,510 --> 00:35:40,429 for not controlling things outside of my control. 630 00:35:40,513 --> 00:35:41,514 You relish it. 631 00:35:41,597 --> 00:35:44,350 It's like you have no identity outside of your own victimhood. 632 00:35:44,433 --> 00:35:48,354 Thank you. Thank you. You love how hated I am. 633 00:35:48,437 --> 00:35:50,148 Of course you do, because you're America's son, 634 00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:53,734 and I am just another tragedy you bravely endure. 635 00:36:02,076 --> 00:36:06,664 Well. Yeah, I think I may have hit my limit. 636 00:36:11,335 --> 00:36:13,004 What are you talking about? 637 00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:21,137 [Carolyn] John, what are you talking about? 638 00:36:21,220 --> 00:36:24,974 Maybe I've endured enough tragedy for one lifetime. 639 00:36:25,057 --> 00:36:26,851 Fuck. [groans] 640 00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:28,853 [groans] 641 00:36:34,275 --> 00:36:35,902 John, come back. 642 00:36:38,112 --> 00:36:39,113 John! 643 00:36:40,823 --> 00:36:43,451 John, what are you doing? [panting] 644 00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:46,621 What… 645 00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:48,372 I can't keep doing this. 646 00:36:49,332 --> 00:36:51,542 [panting] 647 00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:53,211 What are you talking about? 648 00:36:53,794 --> 00:36:55,880 Doing what? What are you… What are you talking about? 649 00:36:55,963 --> 00:36:58,466 Everything and everyone I touch falls apart, 650 00:36:58,549 --> 00:37:00,176 and now this is falling apart too. 651 00:37:00,259 --> 00:37:04,472 And I just think that if I stay, I'm gonna do or say something that I'll regret. 652 00:37:04,555 --> 00:37:06,807 L-Like what? Like what, John? 653 00:37:07,516 --> 00:37:09,435 [John] I'll be at the Stanhope. Just a day or two. 654 00:37:09,518 --> 00:37:12,230 [Carolyn] No, J-John, just say what you were gonna say. 655 00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:14,649 There is nothing you can say to me 656 00:37:14,732 --> 00:37:17,443 that would hurt me more than you walking out that door. 657 00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:20,571 Do you know what it's like to see it in your eyes 658 00:37:20,655 --> 00:37:22,365 that I'm failing at this marriage? 659 00:37:22,448 --> 00:37:25,576 Like I failed as a lawyer and now I'm failing as a magazine editor. 660 00:37:26,702 --> 00:37:29,664 I couldn't help my mom. And I can't help Anthony. 661 00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:32,083 And I don't think I can handle another failure right now. 662 00:37:32,166 --> 00:37:33,167 [Carolyn] No, John. 663 00:37:36,837 --> 00:37:39,382 When I told you everything ends, you said not us. 664 00:37:41,592 --> 00:37:43,970 What happened to not us, John? 665 00:37:44,053 --> 00:37:46,722 What happened to not us? What happened to not us? 666 00:37:46,806 --> 00:37:48,849 What happened to not us? 667 00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:53,062 [sobs] What happened to not us? 668 00:37:53,771 --> 00:37:56,399 When I told you everything ends, you said not us. 669 00:37:56,482 --> 00:37:58,526 What happened to not us? 670 00:37:59,860 --> 00:38:00,861 [Carolyn sobs] 671 00:38:04,907 --> 00:38:06,117 This isn't ending. 672 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:07,576 Yes, it is. 673 00:38:09,829 --> 00:38:11,038 You're running away. 674 00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:13,040 I don't want to keep hurting you, Carolyn. 675 00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:14,917 -[Carolyn sobbing] -I wanna be with you. 676 00:38:15,001 --> 00:38:16,460 Then be with me. 677 00:38:16,544 --> 00:38:18,170 I don't wanna fight. 678 00:38:20,923 --> 00:38:22,258 You have to. 679 00:38:23,342 --> 00:38:26,304 [pants] That's what people do. They fight. They stay, they fight. 680 00:38:26,387 --> 00:38:28,806 If we keep fighting, we're gonna lose each other. 681 00:38:28,889 --> 00:38:31,642 [Carolyn pants] Please don't leave me. 682 00:38:32,768 --> 00:38:34,186 Please. 683 00:38:42,778 --> 00:38:44,947 Please don't prove my mother right. 684 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:55,333 I'm coming back, I promise. 685 00:38:56,542 --> 00:38:58,127 [sobbing] 686 00:39:04,383 --> 00:39:05,593 [John] I love you. 687 00:39:35,414 --> 00:39:37,917 [crying] 688 00:39:41,962 --> 00:39:42,963 [elevator dings] 689 00:39:43,839 --> 00:39:46,133 [elevator whooshes] 690 00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:52,223 [sobbing]